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The Malakiad

by Gustavo Bondoni
A hilarious mythological misadventure
This book is appropriate for teenagers.



Also on Kindle Unlimited!

This book is appropriate for teenagers.

It is time to rejoin our hero.

And even though you don't know this hero (we promise, you don't), so begins the epic story The Malakiad, a tale so grand it takes many years, several continents, detailed mythologies, and a smattering of religions to tell. A tale so outlandish it hasn't been remembered because it wasn't deemed important to do so. And a tale so confusing its chronicler might regret having labored to recount it without finding a more, um, prominent publisher to release it.

To wit, the Mykonean ambassador Mansour, fat, stupid, and asleep with his face in a soup bowl, has learned the legendary Golden Malak is real, and he's come to Elenia's palace, not just to sleep in the soup, but to embark on an expedition to find the great golden rod that contains the Elixir of Life. Elenia, a beautiful and powerful warrior princess, and Kopulus, the overwhelmingly great yet underwhelmingly immortalized Grecian hero, are game, and their adventure begins when they set off for Mount Olympus, taking an escaped slave, Leandrus, with them.

Their journey will not be easy, marred by run-ins with a flying chariot and a confused guard dog, not to mention the pirates, camels, and various angry gods and said gods' worshipers. Even a pink sea serpent finds his way into the story. But how else are they supposed to get to Africa and find the god what stole the Malak from its rightful (if not mythical) owner and claim it as their own?

Wait... Don't answer that.

Homer had the Iliad... Virgil had the Aeneid... Anna had the Alexiad...

And now Bondoni has

The Malakiad

About the Chronicler

Gustavo Bondoni is a novelist and short story writer with over three hundred stories published in fifteen countries, in seven languages. He is a member of Codex and an Active Member of Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America. His latest novel is Lost Island Rampage (2021). He has also published three other monster books: Ice Station: Death, Jungle Lab Terror (2020), and Test Site Horror (2020); three science fiction novels: Incursion (2017), Outside (2017), and Siege (2016); and an ebook novella entitled Branch. His short fiction is collected in Pale Reflection (2020), Off the Beaten Path (2019), Tenth Orbit and Other Faraway Places (2010), and Virtuoso and Other Stories (2011). He also has stories in Dark Owl Publishing's A Celebration of Storytelling and Something Wicked This Way Rides.

In 2019, Gustavo was awarded second place in the Jim Baen Memorial Contest and in 2018 he received a Judges Commendation (and second place) in the James White Award. He was also a 2019 finalist in the Writers of the Future Contest.

Visit his website at

Praise for The Malakiad

"If you take a dash of Mark Twain, a large glug of Terry Pratchett, add them to a base of Homer, then you'd have a rather disgusting and illegal cocktail. What you would get metaphorically is Gustavo Bondoni's The Malakiad. I believe this has the potential to do for the comedic parodical Greek epic what Rick Riordan did for the young adult pantheon novel. The advantage that Bondoni has is authenticity. Reading The Malakiad, one gets the notion that the author has more than a passing acquaintance with the concept of an ancient epic (before that word was abused to the point of needing to call someone in authority). Parody, and its characters, cannot survive on the surface level - the hero

and the fool lines are blurred in the main characters

in all the best ways."

~ Carl R. Jennings,

Author of Just About Anyone and

Mister Posted and the Brain Freeze Goddess

"Do you like humor and fantasy? Of course, you do. But what is better than having the two combined?

Humorous fantasy is a rare genre because it is hard to do well. But Gustavo Bondoni manages to do just that in

The Malakiad: a fantasy novel that is simultaneously deeply steeped in Greek mythology and in contemporary sensibility; both tongue-in-cheek and absorbing; both adventurous and seriously funny.

Bondoni is an amazingly versatile writer of science fiction and fantasy. His books range from space opera to historical fantasy; from creature features to Latin American mythological fables. In every genre, he displays his mastery of the form and ability to engage the reader. The Malakiad is a worthy addition to his growing list of fantastic tales."

~ Elana Gomel,

Author of "Little Sister" and "Black House"

"The Malakiad is a clever, engaging, humorous delight. The members of the 'heroic' trio at the center of the tale are perfectly characterized to annoy the living daylights out of one another as they travel through ancient Greece and Africa in search of the fabled Golden Malak. And just when you think they might finally be on a path to success, some combination of their own ignorance, ineptitude, ancient gods, or mythic monsters manage to knock them off the metaphorical green and into a water hazard or sand trap. If you are in the mood for an epic quest with lots of laughs, The Malakiad is for you."

~ A.E. Kincaid,

Author of The Demon, the Hero, and the City of Seven

Praise for Gustavo's previous work

"All in all, this book gets two huge thumbs up from me and I look forward to reading more from this author. This is a

fast-paced, fresh, fantastic work of science fiction."

~ Kathryn Bennett for Readers' Favorite

"This is a first rate piece of writing. The author, whose first language is not English, does an excellent job with the characters and storytelling. It is very much worth 

the reader's time."

~ Paul Lappen, Four-Star Amazon Review

Combine Mark Twain with Terry Pratchett and Homer,

and you've got the perfect mythological misadventure from Gustavo Bondoni.

Here's some more info about fantasy comedy for your perusal.